Ohio Attorney Suspended For Pooping In Pringles Can And Throwing It Out The Window Of His Car

The Enquirer - The Ohio Supreme Court suspended an attorney who defecated into a Pringles potato chip can and then tossed it into a parking lot of a crime-victim advocacy center.

Criminal defense attorney Jack A. Blakeslee's conduct called into question his fitness to practice law, the court decided.

Blakeslee's defense? He said he didn't target anyone but had a habit of putting his feces in Pringles cans and randomly throwing them from his car. He claimed he pulled the Pringles prank at least 10 times that year.

"No, no, no. You guys have me all wrong. I wasn't targeting the crime victim advocacy center. I throw Pringles cans of my own shit out the window of my car ALL THE TIME."

Incredible defense from Jack A. Blakeslee Esq. He really thought that was going to get him off the hook. Like when companies won't fire you if you have a drug problem, but will instead put into a rehab center to get you better. I think that was his angle. He's a victim of addiction. He got in with the wrong crowd, probably thought he could safely shit into a Pringles can and throw it out the window just once or twice, but after a couple times he got hooked. Soon enough he was no longer pooping in Pringles cans for fun. He was pooping in Pringles cans just to make it through the day. He doesn't need to be punished. He needs help.

Unfortunately the courts didn't buy his Pringles can poop addiction defense. They believe the crime victim advocacy center was Jack's (and this might be my favorite part of the article) targeted "drop zone"

But the court didn't buy it and said Blakeslee purposely chose the Haven of Hope in Cambridge as his "drop zone." Surveillance video captured the incident in November 2021.  

Blakeslee had known the victim advocates at the center for years and was scheduled to see them in court 15 minutes after the Pringles deposit. At the time, Blakeslee was representing someone accused in a capital murder case. 

If you're the defendant who this lawyer is representing on a murder charge, I think you have to be apprecaitive of him. He's not just going through the motions, bargaining half-assedly for some sort of deal that best case scenario gets you out of prison in 35 years. This lawyer takes his cases personally. Fuck the Haven of Hope. You wanna put my client who chopped up his wife in prison for life? Well how do you like these apples. 

I also like the idea of a Pringles poop can case being dragged out over the course of 2 years. The incident happened in 2021, and he's just now getting suspended. He's probably been receiving letters, paying legal fees, attending hearings, all related to his stupid shit prank for the last 700+ days. At a certain point you gotta think to yourself, "holy shit (no pun intended) can you just give me a fucking fine and decide what my punishment is already?" 

Unless this is a 2 year old shit video that only recently resurfaced. I'm not sure which one is worse/funnier.

Also, imagine sitting in a court room, and in relation to your case, the other lawyer's are using "The Naked Photographer" as precedence. 

In determining what punishment to mete out, the court relied on a previous ruling involving "The Naked Photographer" − an Ohio House GOP caucus attorney who photographed more than 30 women as he flashed them. 

That comparison can't make you feel good about yourself. And we haven't even gotten to the craziest part of the story yet. It just keep getting better. How old do you think this lawyer is? He's gotta be a young guy right? Probably some former frat boy with smart, rich parents who sent him to law school. He skated by on his god given intelligence, barely passed the bar, and started doing poop pranks in his late 20's. 

NOPE!

Blakeslee, of Caldwell, has been an attorney since 1976. He had no prior disciplinary action against him. 

He's been a lawyer since 1976! That's almost 50 YEARS! He's 75 years old! HE'S A VIETNAM VETERAN!!!!

Court News Ohio -  He testified that he is a Vietnam veteran and received psychological treatment for posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) related to his military service and as a victim of child abuse. 

I'm sorry about your trauma Mr. Blakeslee, but now I'm inclined to think that you fucking rule. A 70+ year old man shitting in Pringles cans and tossing them out the window? Dudes most certainly rock.

He's just gotta retire now right? Your career is done, Jack. Just ride off into the sunset. You can't return to work from a poop prank scandal at age 76. You have almost 50 years of lawyer money. You had your own firm. You must have the means to retire. Stop lawyering dude. Buy a cabin in the woods, or check yourself into a swanky retirement home. Anywhere you can poop wherever the hell you want to and not get scolded for it.